How to Survive (and enjoy) RAGBRAI: Part 3

Consider this the third and last installment of my important RAGBRAI rules. I have other things I want to blog about, but feel that I cannot until I finish with RAGBRAI!! Thanks for your patience...these take a long time to upload all the pictures, and I find myself a bit busier now than I was 2 weeks ago, somehow.


These are the LAST rules (according to this Lazy Girl) for how to survive and have fun on RAGBRAI.

1. Eat as much homemade pie as possible.























































2. When you have 102 degree heat index, find some shade. To do so, just follow the hundreds of bikers pulling into people's yards, sleeping under the poor, unsuspecting farmers' trees. Do what you have to to get out of the sun.
1 tree = 40+ bikers















3. Enjoy local attractions. Such as an amazing grotto built by one man. Take time to appreciate everything these small towns want you to appreciate.













4. Eat a good breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day. French toast, burritos, pankcakes, whatever strikes your fancy after biking 15 miles.
















5. Drink blue lemonade sold by the Future Farmers of America. It is the best thing you will drink all week. It may be because you are so sick of water. It may be because they are usually set up in the last 20 miles of the day. Or it may be just THAT amazing. Whatever. Drink it. Every day.















6. Eat a church dinner. Oh. My. Gosh. This will be the best thing you eat all week. But get there early. Absorb all the amazing church lady homemade carbs/love you can.














7. Fill up your water bottles wherever you can. Hope that this well water tastes better than the last town's. You never quite know.



















8. Tear up a little coming through Parkersburg, a town that has suffered so much. Know that riding your bike today is helping them recover from the hurt. Take a picture of all of the sculptures made from bikes lost/ruined in the tornado.















9. Stay inside a house. At least once. Find a friend who will take you in. No tent to put up. Ahhh.

10. This rule is breakable. I actually suggest breaking this rule.
Bike through a thunder/lightning storm. Freeze because you only brought 50 cent ponchos. Learn that rain jackets are essential for warmth. Stop at a Moose Lodge for pancakes, hoping the rain will stop. When the rain doesn't stop, keep biking against all better judgment.














11. When rain finally stops, warm up and attempt to dry your shorts on Mr. Pork Chop's giant grill. Chafe the rest of the day due to wet bike shorts. Be angry. About the chafing.

































12. I would also suggest skipping this rule, but for me, apparently, it was an essential part of my RAGBRAI experience.
Break out with various skin conditions throughout the week, culminating with skin rejecting sunscreen. If you're lucky, the sunscreen will not soak into your skin at all. Have a stranger try to apply a tatoo, only to tell you "you're too greasy." Really try for some diaper rash. Be thankful someone had the foresight to bring Desitin. Feel strange applying Desitin to yourself, rather than a baby's butt. Try to get some heat rash, lip blisters, chafing, and a bit of sunburn. Then you're in good shape. (This is not an exaggeration, by the way.)










13. Chill. Often.















14. Powder. Powder is your friend. Moisture is your enemy. However, you may enter into a more complicated, love/hate relationship with powder, as it somehow ends up all over your butt. Like, all over. But no one else has a white butt. Just black shorts. And you know they're using powder. Oh well. I suggest embracing it. Until your loyal RAGBRAI teammates make fun of your powder-butt as you mount your bike in your own unique way. Whatever. They're just jealous. You make that look good.

15. Be scared of Potter's Hill. Arrive at Potter's Hill and be even more scared. Screw it. Get off your bike and walk it like the other 75% of RAGBRAIers. Unless you are Joel. Then you are going kill that hill. Amazing. Know that no matter how many pictures you take as you are catching your breath from walking up the hill, they will not do it justice.




























16. Breathe a sigh of relief when you reach your hometown, the ending point of RAGBRAI. Then realize (since you know this city) you're not even close to the endpoint. Not. even. close.














17. Smile as you spot your fans who came down to cheer you on.












18. Dip your tires in the Mighty Mississippi.















19. Celebrate. Then realize you're not done. You still have to bike 5 more miles to your house. If you are us, that is.










































20. Arrive at home. Smile.














21. RAGBRAI OVER! Sleep. If you are me, you will sleep for 15 hours.




























22. Next week, after some well-deserved rest, think that even though it was really hard, you can't wait to ride RAGBRAI next year! But for now, you don't even want to look at a bicycle.

How Did You Get Chain Grease on the OUTSIDE of Your Leg?!

A quote from our friend Jon, in the midst of a horribly long and painful bike ride this weekend in Des Moines. My answer: "It's me."

We visited our friends Jill and Jon in Des Moines last weekend, who showed us the world!

Ingrid Michealson Concert (Sooo Good!)
Iowa Cubs Game
Amazing Chinese Pizza Place: Fong's
Cool Bar With 1000s of Beers and Bikes Hanging on the Ceiling
Man V. Food Eating Challenge for Joel & Jon
Des Moines Farmer's Market
Gray's Lake
Laser Tag
Trampoline Basketball
Amazing Thai Food: Cool Beans
Overall Fantastic-ness

Des Moines has the wonderfully long, paved, looped trails that our town completely lacks, so of course, Joel and I knew we had to take advantage, since RAGBRAI is right around the corner. Friday morning, we woke up, didn't eat anything, and biked 48 miles with Jon. The original plan was to bike 20-30, but we underestimated a couple of things....Joel's idea (to bike a lot more), as well as the distance between their house and the 16 mile trail. Dumb.

I spent the majority of the ride staring at the back of the boys' shirts, occasionally screaming hateful things, sometimes wanting to cry because I lost sight of them 15 minutes ago, wondering if they were really hiding in the woods laughing at me, and questioning why my toes and hands were numb. Good times.

I think Jon and Joel found it amusing, particularly when I would get my second (or eighth) wind, and come zooming up by them, sometimes passing them, only to immediately drop waaaaay back as soon as we hit an incline. It got to the point where I knew it was coming, and just said "bye!" as they continued their pace and I fell way back.

I should note, I rode this whole ride without padded shorts, which I then bought the next day. I could barely sit on that bike by the end. I would stand up to ease the pain, and my bike would nearly come to a stop.

I don't think RAGBRAI is going to be pretty.

After about 40 miles, I was about ready to pass out, so we found a gas station and I bought a Snickers and a Gatorade. As I sat on the curb, happily eating my candy bar, and clicking my feet together (ala 3 year old), Jon said, "You are just like those Snickers commercials. You are a total diva til you get a Snickers!" True story, Jon. True story.
After that, I was semi-good-to-go. You know, other than the numb toes, hands, and sore-as-hell bum.

I really don't think RAGBRAI is going to be pretty.

Next morning...20 mile ride. Luckily, my friend Beth wanted to try out the Farmer's Market bike ride, so I hung with her, which gave my legs a break! She rocked that ride though, for someone who just started biking/running! My legs were so weak, I had to walk the bike up a steep hill, and she lasted longer than I did.
Needless to say, my legs were pretty tired. I didn't even want to look at my bike, or anything resembling a bicycle, so naturally, what did we do that afternoon??

Yup. Paddle Boats. More pedaling. Luckily, we had Jill in the back to do most of the work!

And here is the choice Jone made, after the same amount of biking.....

At least Joel was smart, and chose to use his upper body, instead of his biking legs.....


And he got in the car and immediately began looking for kayaks on Craigslist. Fantastic.


And, the event we had all been looking forward to.....watching Jon and Joel attempt to defeat the Adam Emmenecker sandwich at Jethro's BBQ.
In 15 minutes.
Sadly, in the battle of man v. food, food wins.
After about an hour.
In a very disgusting battle.
With a lot of BBQ sauce.

As you can see, it is very important to find balance in our lives. For every big bike ride, there is a disgustingly huge sandwich waiting for us. Or a LOT of Chinese pizza.
Balance is important. Make sure you find yours. And then finish it off with a chocolate shake.

Pain

Sunday Bike Ride: 26.2 miles (a marathon on bicycle)

I conquered many hills that I have never been able to in the past! But....at a price.

The beast itself....I dominated that hill!

Of course, Joel did it with no problems!

After a day of climbing hills, my knees were feeling it. Thank you, frozen veggies. I knew you were good for something.

And the other pain I am feeling....horrible sunburn.
Very stupid mistake, I know. The Sunblock Nazi is now in extreme pain from this terrible sunburn.

And the best part....riding gloves...am I still wearing them, or is that my burn line??

Lessons Learned:
Never go for ANY ride without sunblock, even if I don't think we'll be gone long! It will hurt.
Don't try to tackle every hill in town on my first big ride! It will hurt.