How to Survive (and enjoy) RAGBRAI: Part 3

Consider this the third and last installment of my important RAGBRAI rules. I have other things I want to blog about, but feel that I cannot until I finish with RAGBRAI!! Thanks for your patience...these take a long time to upload all the pictures, and I find myself a bit busier now than I was 2 weeks ago, somehow.


These are the LAST rules (according to this Lazy Girl) for how to survive and have fun on RAGBRAI.

1. Eat as much homemade pie as possible.























































2. When you have 102 degree heat index, find some shade. To do so, just follow the hundreds of bikers pulling into people's yards, sleeping under the poor, unsuspecting farmers' trees. Do what you have to to get out of the sun.
1 tree = 40+ bikers















3. Enjoy local attractions. Such as an amazing grotto built by one man. Take time to appreciate everything these small towns want you to appreciate.













4. Eat a good breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day. French toast, burritos, pankcakes, whatever strikes your fancy after biking 15 miles.
















5. Drink blue lemonade sold by the Future Farmers of America. It is the best thing you will drink all week. It may be because you are so sick of water. It may be because they are usually set up in the last 20 miles of the day. Or it may be just THAT amazing. Whatever. Drink it. Every day.















6. Eat a church dinner. Oh. My. Gosh. This will be the best thing you eat all week. But get there early. Absorb all the amazing church lady homemade carbs/love you can.














7. Fill up your water bottles wherever you can. Hope that this well water tastes better than the last town's. You never quite know.



















8. Tear up a little coming through Parkersburg, a town that has suffered so much. Know that riding your bike today is helping them recover from the hurt. Take a picture of all of the sculptures made from bikes lost/ruined in the tornado.















9. Stay inside a house. At least once. Find a friend who will take you in. No tent to put up. Ahhh.

10. This rule is breakable. I actually suggest breaking this rule.
Bike through a thunder/lightning storm. Freeze because you only brought 50 cent ponchos. Learn that rain jackets are essential for warmth. Stop at a Moose Lodge for pancakes, hoping the rain will stop. When the rain doesn't stop, keep biking against all better judgment.














11. When rain finally stops, warm up and attempt to dry your shorts on Mr. Pork Chop's giant grill. Chafe the rest of the day due to wet bike shorts. Be angry. About the chafing.

































12. I would also suggest skipping this rule, but for me, apparently, it was an essential part of my RAGBRAI experience.
Break out with various skin conditions throughout the week, culminating with skin rejecting sunscreen. If you're lucky, the sunscreen will not soak into your skin at all. Have a stranger try to apply a tatoo, only to tell you "you're too greasy." Really try for some diaper rash. Be thankful someone had the foresight to bring Desitin. Feel strange applying Desitin to yourself, rather than a baby's butt. Try to get some heat rash, lip blisters, chafing, and a bit of sunburn. Then you're in good shape. (This is not an exaggeration, by the way.)










13. Chill. Often.















14. Powder. Powder is your friend. Moisture is your enemy. However, you may enter into a more complicated, love/hate relationship with powder, as it somehow ends up all over your butt. Like, all over. But no one else has a white butt. Just black shorts. And you know they're using powder. Oh well. I suggest embracing it. Until your loyal RAGBRAI teammates make fun of your powder-butt as you mount your bike in your own unique way. Whatever. They're just jealous. You make that look good.

15. Be scared of Potter's Hill. Arrive at Potter's Hill and be even more scared. Screw it. Get off your bike and walk it like the other 75% of RAGBRAIers. Unless you are Joel. Then you are going kill that hill. Amazing. Know that no matter how many pictures you take as you are catching your breath from walking up the hill, they will not do it justice.




























16. Breathe a sigh of relief when you reach your hometown, the ending point of RAGBRAI. Then realize (since you know this city) you're not even close to the endpoint. Not. even. close.














17. Smile as you spot your fans who came down to cheer you on.












18. Dip your tires in the Mighty Mississippi.















19. Celebrate. Then realize you're not done. You still have to bike 5 more miles to your house. If you are us, that is.










































20. Arrive at home. Smile.














21. RAGBRAI OVER! Sleep. If you are me, you will sleep for 15 hours.




























22. Next week, after some well-deserved rest, think that even though it was really hard, you can't wait to ride RAGBRAI next year! But for now, you don't even want to look at a bicycle.

Here We Go......

I'm leaving for RAGBRAI tomorrow! I am excited/concerned.

Concerns:
I have not ridden my bike enough to do this without dying.
Hills.
How far am I going to have to walk to find a bathroom at night?
Hills.
Ice-cold showers.
My butt.
My legs.
Humidity.
Rainstorms similar to what happened here last night. (Scary!)
Hills.
We didn't pack the right stuff.
Toes/hands going numb again.
I only have one pair of bike shorts...they better dry out!
My breathing.
Hills.

Excite-ments: (Is that a word?)
Pie.
Slip & Slides.
Meeting new people.
Biking with Megan.
Pie.
Pancake Man. (Or so I hear.)
Meeting up with Joel in towns.
Church lady food.
Festivities in pass-through towns.
The Peanut Butter Jam
Pie.
Sharing stories.
Manchester: Friends coming out to party with us on our last overnight.
The Nadas.
Camping.
Hanging out with our team at night.
Great Iowan hospitality.
Pie.

These are just a few of the things I am thinking about going into this 7-day, 442 mile bike ride across Iowa! I look forward to looking back on this list to see if I was silly to worry about those things, and how many fun things I can add to the list to be excited about next year.
I will be taking tons of pictures, and enjoying all that these Iowa towns and their people have to offer. I can't wait to share my stories. Wish me luck!

Pig Man

RAGBRAI in 5 days!

I went for a bike ride all over town today, conquering some of the worst hills our lovely town has to offer. I made a discovery....I enjoy long bike rides by myself! I always wanted Joel to come with me, partly as motivation to keep up, and partly to keep me company. No offense, Joel, but biking without you was quite lovely! I went at my own pace, up those terrible hills, decided what direction to go, stopped for fuel (not Snickers this time...I was good and had a granola bar!), and really enjoyed myself.

Until....

I was bringing my ride to an end, traveling down one of our few bike trails, which is flanked by trees and wilderness on one side (Factory on the other side). All of a sudden, I heard a big rustling noise, accompanied by the sound of some strange animal or human. I took off like a bat out of hell, scared to death of what was in that brush!! As I sped away, I thought it sounded kind of like a pig. And a man. "Half pig-half man!" "A pig man, Jerry!!!" Any Seinfeld fans out there? Well, it sounded like a very scary version of Kramer's pig man! And I did not stick around to get to know him.
I should just always assume there is a pig man behind me, because I had a great pace going for about a mile, until I was positive there was no mutant animal behind me!

One more decent ride this week, then I have to rest these legs for the torture they are about to endure.

Headline: Elementary Teacher Inspires Students, Then Dies on RAGABRAI

During Bike to Work Week, I talked with my students about biking, and found that my fourth graders were very interested in this thing called RAGBRAI. So I decided to put that interest to work for me. To keep them reading independently toward the end of the school year, I set up this RAGBRAI bulletin board. I printed lots of RAGBRAI history from the website so they could read all about it. We read books about biking. I gave them fun reading logs to keep track of their independent reading. Then we started the bike ride across Iowa! The pictures explain it all.

Some of the pictures I printed off of the website, that I thought exemplified the spirit of RABRAI.
Banana costumes, people selling you stuff, hills

That bike (me) made it all the way across Iowa, through the overnight towns, where I had placed little pins.

When the fourth graders met their reading goal, and I made it across the state, we had a RAGBRAI party, where they got ice cream and certificates. Hopefully, some of them will remember this, and want to do RAGBRAI someday!

How Did You Get Chain Grease on the OUTSIDE of Your Leg?!

A quote from our friend Jon, in the midst of a horribly long and painful bike ride this weekend in Des Moines. My answer: "It's me."

We visited our friends Jill and Jon in Des Moines last weekend, who showed us the world!

Ingrid Michealson Concert (Sooo Good!)
Iowa Cubs Game
Amazing Chinese Pizza Place: Fong's
Cool Bar With 1000s of Beers and Bikes Hanging on the Ceiling
Man V. Food Eating Challenge for Joel & Jon
Des Moines Farmer's Market
Gray's Lake
Laser Tag
Trampoline Basketball
Amazing Thai Food: Cool Beans
Overall Fantastic-ness

Des Moines has the wonderfully long, paved, looped trails that our town completely lacks, so of course, Joel and I knew we had to take advantage, since RAGBRAI is right around the corner. Friday morning, we woke up, didn't eat anything, and biked 48 miles with Jon. The original plan was to bike 20-30, but we underestimated a couple of things....Joel's idea (to bike a lot more), as well as the distance between their house and the 16 mile trail. Dumb.

I spent the majority of the ride staring at the back of the boys' shirts, occasionally screaming hateful things, sometimes wanting to cry because I lost sight of them 15 minutes ago, wondering if they were really hiding in the woods laughing at me, and questioning why my toes and hands were numb. Good times.

I think Jon and Joel found it amusing, particularly when I would get my second (or eighth) wind, and come zooming up by them, sometimes passing them, only to immediately drop waaaaay back as soon as we hit an incline. It got to the point where I knew it was coming, and just said "bye!" as they continued their pace and I fell way back.

I should note, I rode this whole ride without padded shorts, which I then bought the next day. I could barely sit on that bike by the end. I would stand up to ease the pain, and my bike would nearly come to a stop.

I don't think RAGBRAI is going to be pretty.

After about 40 miles, I was about ready to pass out, so we found a gas station and I bought a Snickers and a Gatorade. As I sat on the curb, happily eating my candy bar, and clicking my feet together (ala 3 year old), Jon said, "You are just like those Snickers commercials. You are a total diva til you get a Snickers!" True story, Jon. True story.
After that, I was semi-good-to-go. You know, other than the numb toes, hands, and sore-as-hell bum.

I really don't think RAGBRAI is going to be pretty.

Next morning...20 mile ride. Luckily, my friend Beth wanted to try out the Farmer's Market bike ride, so I hung with her, which gave my legs a break! She rocked that ride though, for someone who just started biking/running! My legs were so weak, I had to walk the bike up a steep hill, and she lasted longer than I did.
Needless to say, my legs were pretty tired. I didn't even want to look at my bike, or anything resembling a bicycle, so naturally, what did we do that afternoon??

Yup. Paddle Boats. More pedaling. Luckily, we had Jill in the back to do most of the work!

And here is the choice Jone made, after the same amount of biking.....

At least Joel was smart, and chose to use his upper body, instead of his biking legs.....


And he got in the car and immediately began looking for kayaks on Craigslist. Fantastic.


And, the event we had all been looking forward to.....watching Jon and Joel attempt to defeat the Adam Emmenecker sandwich at Jethro's BBQ.
In 15 minutes.
Sadly, in the battle of man v. food, food wins.
After about an hour.
In a very disgusting battle.
With a lot of BBQ sauce.

As you can see, it is very important to find balance in our lives. For every big bike ride, there is a disgustingly huge sandwich waiting for us. Or a LOT of Chinese pizza.
Balance is important. Make sure you find yours. And then finish it off with a chocolate shake.

Defeated

Joel and I went on a doozie of a ride tonight! It started off pretty nice and flat, and then all of a sudden I was in hell! There were a few bad hills, and then we reached The Defeater. Yup, she defeated me. I climbed and climbed, in my lowest gear with high RPMs, since that's the advice of trainers. This particular hill was over a mile long, on a country road, with curves preventing you from seeing the hell ahead, and very bumpy. I had to stop just to catch my breath. Sweat was running (not dripping, running) into my eyes. My sunglasses instantly fogged up when I stopped. So I eventually caught my breath. At this point, I can't even see Joel anymore. He defeated my Defeater. (My Hero!)
I start back up again, mid-hill.

**I should mention here, I also just started using cages on my pedals tonight. This is my first step before moving to the terrifying clip pedals. They are tricky getting my feet into while moving.

After beginning again, I couldn't get my left foot back in my cage. I was going so slow, I knew I would just topple over. So there I am, barely moving, with one foot in the cage. I am defeated. Joel appears at the top and I yell "I can't do it!" He thinks I'm just complaining, I think. So I shout again. He's laughing, I think. So I scream, "I CAN'T DO IT!!!"
Back down we go. I intend on defeating The Defeater soon. I'll get her. Joel says it's really pretty at the top. We'll see. He could tell me the top of the hill houses the world's cheapest shoe store and they are giving out free ice cream and pizza. And for now, I have to take his word for it. It's probably just more hills though.

Pain

Sunday Bike Ride: 26.2 miles (a marathon on bicycle)

I conquered many hills that I have never been able to in the past! But....at a price.

The beast itself....I dominated that hill!

Of course, Joel did it with no problems!

After a day of climbing hills, my knees were feeling it. Thank you, frozen veggies. I knew you were good for something.

And the other pain I am feeling....horrible sunburn.
Very stupid mistake, I know. The Sunblock Nazi is now in extreme pain from this terrible sunburn.

And the best part....riding gloves...am I still wearing them, or is that my burn line??

Lessons Learned:
Never go for ANY ride without sunblock, even if I don't think we'll be gone long! It will hurt.
Don't try to tackle every hill in town on my first big ride! It will hurt.

Highlights

Well, it turns out I really enjoy biking to work. Somehow, it's faster, and it wakes me up for my day!
Here are some highlights of my Bike to Work Week....

Monday:

Joel fell off his bike today as he was pulling up to work!!! Oh man, I wish I could have seen it! Could it be as funny as I am picturing in my head?! This was his first time falling as a result of not being able to unclip his bike shoes. But, he got a free BTWW shirt at the bike shop after work.
I drove today. I had to take all my lunch and weekend work I had brought home with me.

Tuesday:

For some stupid reason, I decided to start RAGBRAI training the same day I started riding to work. I biked 10 miles tonight.

Wednesday:

My butt hurts so badly today, I can barely sit down on the bike to ride to work! But I did.

Thursday:

Drove today. My butt still hurts!

Friday:

I started a RAGBRAI reading initiative with my students today. Kids are excited!

I decided to bike to the bike shop downtown today to get my free safety check and shirt. In jeans. DON'T EVER BIKE IN JEANS! It was a pretty cool afternoon, but as soon as I walked into the shop, I started sweating profusely. I didn't even get a free shirt out of it!

I left the bike store and somehow got lost on all the one-way streets downtown.
Something you should know....I get very annoyed by people who complain about our one-way streets (they are not that hard to figure out.). Man, is it different on a bicycle! It seemed like every street I turned on was not only one-way, but there were several cars coming right at me! Eventually I figured it out and got home, extremely sweaty and flustered!

Saturday:

We biked all over downtown, to farmer's market, to a cute little cafe, my favorite bookstore, and the festival that is going on all weekend. It was kind of nice to experience our town in this way. I would suggest it to anyone who lives here. It is so easy to forget the charm of your own city when you've lived there your whole life. Driving around just doesn't do it.

Lessons Learned:
I like biking to work. I should keep doing it.
I need a mirror.
(Maybe that will help with the terror I feel riding in the streets!)
Don't bike in jeans if you are riding more than one mile.

Weekend Running & RAGBRAI

Weekend Running Update:
I woke up Saturday morning and, like an idiot, decided to go for a run. My amazing 45-minute solo run last week inspired me to keep it up. Well, my body rejected running this weekend. I'm pretty sure it was screaming at me the whole 20 minutes! "WHAT are you doing?! STOP running! Are you crazy?!" So, for once, I listened! I turned around halfway down the floodwall and headed back, miserable the whole way. I wonder if this is normal? A stubborn, angry set of legs, dead-set against running? Or is it Lazy Girl rejecting this new Un-Lazy Girl suddenly trying to make an appearance in our blissfully inactive life? Hmmm.....
We struck a balance with a delicious pasta dinner and a movie, though. Not to worry, Lazy Girl is never far away!

I really need to start biking again! RAGBRAI (The Register’s Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa), an annual seven-day bicycle ride across Iowa, starts in 103 days. I am going to attempt to ride it this year, with Joel, and our friend Doug's RAGBRAI team. There is a very good chance I may die in this feeble attempt. So, I need to train. Many people who have biked RAGBRAI say it's just a week-long party and not to sweat it. You basically eat homemade pie and drink beverages! But, party or no party, I will still be cycling 442 miles, with up to 82 miles in one day! So this Lazy Girl is going to train! My training could become part of this blog too. Last summer, my endurance on the bike was really improving, through participating in several group rides. Anyone who knows the country roads of Southwestern Wisconsin can attest to how hilly they are. Biked them. Almost died on them. Hate them. But...I will probably have to tackle them again, to prepare myself for RAGBRAI. Ugh.
I have always thought RAGBRAI would be fun, but this year turned out to be the perfect year for us to try it. It is one of the flattest and shortest routes in its 38-year history, and it ends right here in our hometown! It's fate. I've got to give it my best attempt, I suppose.

Springtime Inspirations! And Exclamation Marks!!

I have not posted in so long, but when real life calls, I guess I have to answer! Lesson planning has doubled now that I am also teaching a Gifted Writers Program in the afternoons. Up until now, I taught Reading in the mornings only. I have also had the excruciatingly heavy weight of my future weighing on me....which means resumes and cover letters galore! It's amazing how two pieces of paper can take up so much of your time, and be such a deciding factor for your future!
In the mean time, this Lazy Girl has actually been somewhat un-lazy (non-lazy??)!
Somehow, I have inspired a few of my friends to start running! I find myself thinking "what kind of messed up world are we living in, if I am an inspiration?!" I don't know if it's because of the blog, or my recent completion of an 8K. Maybe those friends could comment here...what on earth made me inspire you to run???

My St. Patrick's Day 8K was an unexpected turning point for me. It took me 57:10 to complete, but I ran the whole thing. My only goals were to run most of it and in under an hour. I nearly cried at the end, when I saw the beautiful McDonald's sign that told me I was almost done! I thought about a year ago, when I could not have run a mile, let alone 5 miles! Ever since this race, something changed. I actually kind of want to run! (Sometimes!) What is this?? Who am I??

Last week, I went out and ran 45 minutes by myself!! Over 3 miles! With no one forcing me!
My friend Beth started running with me. We are doing Couch to 5K and she has completed Week 1...now I have to get her moving onto Week 2! My friend Crystal also went running with me. It is so strange being the one people hate! I'm used to being the hater/gasper/dying girl at the end of the invisible leash. The boyfriend, Joel, and I went out for our first big bike ride in preparation for RAGBRAI and I had to walk the bike up three hills! More to come on this goal later!!! We've been taking the doggie for nightly walks, which she loves! I ran an impromptu Easter 5K this weekend with Joel's family. It consisted of some very brutal hills but I conquered them!
It's a good life! Spring makes me so happy! I'm like a big bear, coming out of hibernation! We'll see how long it lasts, before the bear just wants to crawl back in the cave!